I was in my first year at uni, completely new medium, new way of studying and thinking, different language – a lot of obstacles and barriers between me and the new me. I followed what society says: I went to university. When I look back now, I realize that my first year was so depressing. It was fine for me at that time as it was something new, I had to get used to everything. I only went to university and back home and that was it. That is the only thing I did in my first year. No social life, no friends, no fun just university. I was alone but happy I made my dream came true. It’s the price that you have to pay for your dreams. I understood that as well.
So I kept going. I was used to being a school freak. I was told that that is the way to live a good life. I wished for friends and having fun and being 20 but I only had the age: I was 20 and that was it. Society says that you should go to university and be a good student, have fun with friends that you make there and make the most of it. What happens when you don’t have that? Does society show you how to deal with that, how to deal with loneliness and boredom? I was happy and in my own world. I thought that was normal, that is what it was suppose to happen. I became obsessed with the virtual world because that was my only friend.
I don’t think I regret
growing up so early because I knew from when I was little what I want to do
with my life and I understood how life is. I don’t regret that but in a way I
wish I could go back to my childhood and live all the moments that I missed as
a child. I suppose, though, that the saying “You will always be a child within”
is true.
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